You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize