When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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