I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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