I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize