I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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