ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
