Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
