Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
