I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is Oprah even human
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
