i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
