Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my being single is dangerous.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
