i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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