you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
