but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
