And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just gargled with NyQuil
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
