Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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