i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
