i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
