i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
