It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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