K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
