My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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