Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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