Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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