the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
