Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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