she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
