Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
