The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
