that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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