Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
