I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
God I need to hump something, right now.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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