u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
