let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
