the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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