dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
