did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
