So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
