I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
this hospital has no fireball
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
