Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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