I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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