Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
