you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize