dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Is her dick bigger than yours?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
