i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
