I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
