Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
