Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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