Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
