My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
