So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
