My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
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i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i wish my penis had a tongue
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you traded sex for a burrito?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
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