come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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