Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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