there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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