i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The power of my boobs compel you
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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