ugly people sure do ruin things
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
