shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
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