her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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