so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Randomize
