she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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