don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
