Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
