Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
