Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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