In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
