dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
