the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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